A broken thought.

I started writing this on May 13.

When I got to the part in the story where I go to the back to see the doctor, I stopped writing.

Read into that what you will.

May 13th.

I woke up early this morning. I took a long hot shower and ate a good breakfast. My vision was good and I felt zero discomfort.

I was going to the eye doctor, so of course I was feeling great. Like the mysterious engine noise that disappears when it’s time to take it in to the mechanic, my eyes were determined to prove that they are doing just fine thank-you-very-much.

C woke up looking like hell and announced that 1) we’re not taking the bus today, 2) we’ll just pay the parking fees, and 3) she’s going back to bed for a half an hour.

The women in her family hit menopause relatively early and she’s currently “pre-menopausal”. Not fun for her. She’s really learning the true meaning of PMS and this month is a doozy.

When she can’t sleep any later she crawls out of bed, puts on her favorite sweats, ties her hair into pigtails, and walks out the front door. I grab my glasses, cane, and iPod and follow.

In the car, she asks if I want drive-thru and I say no.

With the headphones on, I snickered to Luke, Jen and Sean as they recount their exploits of Week 2 of Surviving Thunderdome on the April 1 episode of TBTL as we headed toward Harborview.

I’d only been there once before (three weeks ago when I felt like my head was going to split open), and I felt very lost on the way there, but C knew right where to go. We drove around the parking garage for what seemed like forever and ended up on the bottom level. The elevator doesn’t even go down that far. We climbed up to the fifth level and got on the elevator. It made a terrible noise and took entirely too long to reach ground level.

Our first stop was Financial Assistance. My emergency room visit was $4800 and my last paycheck was last year. We signed in and went to the waiting area.

As we sat, C turned first green, then white, then red, then white again. She looked more like she needed to be in a hospital than I did. Several people moved from our immediate area. After sitting for a spell, she turned human colored again and began to eat animal crackers and read things on her iPhone.

By the time we got called to the back, she looked almost normal TBTL was on April 2.

The nice man behind the counter asked only a few questions and then had me sign a stack of papers almost as tall as the one that I signed to buy my first house. Afterwards, he gave me the lowdown. Because my wife has income we don’t get immediate assistance. We get billed for everything. If I rack up enough bills they will pay them… if I get approved, which I won’t even find out until after I’ve racked up the bills.

If I do rack up a bunch of bills and don’t get approved because my wife makes too much (a whopping dollar over minimum wage to support two people), there is a secondary charity that I might qualify for.

…or I could just go home, go blind quietly, and save my wife tens of thousands of dollars. (OK, he didn’t say that last part – but I sure thought it.)

We thanked the nice man and went to the third floor. I checked in for my appointment 40 minutes early and still sat in the waiting room long enough to finish April 2.

[I went blog-silent, but vented a bit on Twitter.]


One response to this post.

  1. Oh please! You think you are the only blind person to have a fucked up sense of humor. Tell you what, when you apply for a job as a bus driver, or when you tell someone at burger king that this is my hearing aid when she asks about your cane, or when you drive a bus, then, and I repeat, only then, come talk to me. Oh, and by the way, you are blind, re not sighted. Enough said. I felt the slightest twinge of sympathy, and then when I saw your post about you in the store…. I am like oh shit; here is another blind dude who needs some serious help.

    Sorry, I just have a hatred for blind people who hate admitting that they are. Hey, guess what, I have been an ass for 21 years. I am a crippled blind ass, at that. I do however; commend you for what you do. Continue to blog. You have just earned yourself a new subscriber! Seriously.


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